A READING from: "In The Company of The Holy Mother"
(available at all Vedanta Centres)
30 March 1920:
I went again five or six days later during evening prayers, Mother was lying on her bed but sat up when I stood beside her. I bowed and sat down at her request. Sarala, Nalini, and Mandakini (a woman attendant) were in the room, Nalini and the other woman were at their beads.
I had taken some sweets (sandesh) with me. When the evening services were over, Mother asked Bilash Maharaj to offer them to the Master.
"Will it not do if I do so later on?" he suggested.
"No, now," she replied. He carried out her orders....
Later she asked me how we were keeping and said, "I have had no fever for two days; I am rather better now, dear. But, my child, Radhu will be the end of me; I have lost health, spiritual practice, duties, and money, and everything yo can think of - all on her account! Why, she is likely to kill her son! It is only because we put him in Sarala's hands after coming here that he still alive. And Kanjilal is looking after him. Kanjilal has already told me, 'I won't treat him if he remains in Radhu's care.'
"The ways of the Lord are inscrutable - why give a son to her of all people, she who can't take proper care of her own body! And now she has hatched a new complaint! Why should this happen? But whatever happens I shall no longer make myself responsible for them! They used to take such liberties with me at home! Do you think they pay any heed to me!!"